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Keys to a Healthy Marriage
by Erbind Smitglie
http://www.rmarriage.com
With the divorce rate escalating it is time to think of the
causes of marriages breaking and find remedial measures to
check this trend. There can never be any doubt about the
fact that when couples enter into a marriage they really
intend to make it last long. So, what goes wrong? Perhaps,
it is the belief that marriage will work without any
contribution from their side. Herein lies the first mistake.
You have to work, and work hard, to make it work. Secondly,
you must know that there is no such thing as a perfect
marriage. It is, at best, a fairy tale myth. And marriage
requires commitment. Marriage is as real as life that has a
fair share of the good, bad and the ugly. So unless you're
prepared to step out of your dreams and face the reality
you'll end up with a divorce.
One of the biggest problems in marriage (other than money,
of course) is selfishness. While it is important to make
sure that your basic needs are being met, it is also
important to compromise on occasion. Allowing your partner
to enjoy little pleasures, and sometimes doing what the
other person wants can set a wonderful pattern. This does
not mean 'keeping score' and trying to make sure that each
person 'sacrifices' the same amount as the other. It means
recognizing when something is important to your spouse and
accommodating when it really matters to her or him.
Deciding on a budget is another thing that can help a
marriage. This means that both parties should sit down and
understand the family finances. If you are in a position to
allow each person a set amount of money to spend as he or
she likes, then that can be very helpful. Everything else
should go toward bills, household maintenance, and shared
purchase decisions. Related to this is division of labor.
Many traditional marriage roles are changing, and you need
to decide what works best for you and your spouse, and
stick with it. And you cannot be afraid to reevaluate and
reassign as needed.
Communication is a vital key to unlock a successful
marriage. It is important for partners to communicate with
each other albeit with due respect and sensitivity to the
other persons' feelings and sentiments. Focus on behaviors
and express things in terms of your personal feelings. This
will prevent an accusative and belligerent tone and
attitude. In a marriage, the most important issues should be
discussed with your partner rather than with third parties
like relatives and friends. This will create a stronger
emotional bond between you and your spouse. Marriage is a
partnership and to keep your marriage healthy, it is
important to connect with your spouse.
Marriage should be a partnership. To keep your marriage
healthy, it is important to keep connected with your spouse
and try to remember that what you have is worth working
at.
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